“Don’t you notice that there are particular moments when you are naturally inspired to introspection? Work with them gently, for these are the moments when you can go through a powerful experience, and your whole worldview can change quickly.” Sogyal Rinpoche
My whole worldview had changed. One moment I was happily skipping to my lou and the next I had cancer and surgery. I had done alot of thinking and come into terms with the whole situation. Like I said before, my mama had gone through this journey but she was not doing as well as we had hoped. I guess that is why I had no time to wallow in self pity. How could I when she had been admitted once again?? My list of powerful experiences was getting bigger and bigger.
Now please DO NOT get me wrong. Powerful expreciences are not always bad. They can be good,, really good. I am blessed I tell you. I have friends who were once strangers. Women I cherish with all my heart. I am a member of a certain facebook group and the minute I posted my fears there, these women mobilized themselves. They wanted to go visit my mama at our home in machakos(the place to be) but before they could visit she was admitted. I was in a state of disarray so much so that it did not resonate with me when My surgeon told me I had to have chemo. But these wonderful women took turns visiting my mama and assuring me that she was getting better.
Back to that chemo part. During my post Surgery appointment, I was given a break-down of the surgery. They had removed a 5.5cm tumor, a sizeable chunk of my big intestine and 45 lymph nodes(wanted to ask how many kg’s that was to see how much weight i had lost…comeoooooooone ladies,,you feel me right!!!) They had found cancer in the lymph nodes. I needed chemotherapy….
Wait,,,, hold on,,,,, what??? “You mean I’m not done”? I thought tumour out and that’s it.
I asked for details but the surgeon could not give me any. He reffered me to an Oncologist. Yes I now had one of those. I was accumulating doctors.
The Oncologist appointment was on a Friday. He was a tall bald man(He still is by te way, just so you know. Weird things happen everyday. Like he can grow hair all of a sudden or shrink). I was going to have combination chemotherapy. This meant that two different type of drugs were going to be used inorder to prevent cancer cells from spreading to other parts of the body. One drug was going to be administered Intravenously and the other orally. I would have about 8 sessions. He went on and on and on. I zoomed out. Blame it on information overload. But I remember thinking “This man resembles that energizer bunny and he also sounds like he is using those batteries”.
I know most women would have asked, “What are the chances that i will loose my hair”? I, however am not most women. All I thought was, “how will I look bald”? I am #teamshorthair so I was sure I would sooooo totally rock a bald head. I was getting good at taking the lemons life was handing me and slicing them up for tequilla shots.
Once home I took to google. I am a master googler. I have even googled if googler is a word. For those of you wondering if it is, you can rest easily tonight in the knowledge that I Salome taught you a new word. Yes googler is a word.
February 6th. That was the day I was going to start the next stage of my journey: Chemotherapy. I was not yet done having powerful experiences. Heck, I had just started. My worldview was changing day by day. One things was constant though, and that was Jehovah’s love and mercies. He was taking me through it, He was leading the way. And that’s why all I could think was, “Bring it on!!!”
I Salome was welcoming those powerful experiences. I was going to continue taking them head on.
My lemons were sliced and with a tequila shot in my hand I raised my glass. Cheers…………
To powerful experiences!!!.